After Webstock earlier this year and Hannah Donavan’s wonderful talk about taking care of our ability to create I became very aware of how my ability to string words together is dependent on how much creative energy is being taken up by managing other things. I can plan out a whole project and be juggling a million tasks and yet when I start to write something the words desert me. Which kind of makes me feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world – because ever since I have been able to string words together I have used them to create story. When I was very young it was fantasy story – now it tends to be more journalistic or critically reflective of what is going on around me.
To not be able to do that creates this strange blankness in my brain. I can still tell the story verbally (and anyone who knows me well, will confirm that!) but to not be able to catch the threads and lay it out over paper or a screen makes it feel invisible – and undone. Since finishing work on a major project a few weeks back I have been twitting round the edges of my technology, trying to get back in to a space where I want to re-engage and write.
This weekend I finally bit the bullet and re-built my Mac – after some extremely scary moments when I thought I had totally killed it. And in the process of judiciously re-installing applications and accounts I have been mindful of the experience of what it means to have a blank piece of paper in the technical sense. With the result that I have come back to my blog with a view to refreshing and rebuilding it as well. There is a lot going on in my creative/ craft life as well as my work life and it seems a good moment to pick up the threads of the story and start laying them over the page again.